Marriage. I had given up on the idea when I met the man that is now my husband. The few men I had dated before were not marriage material. Men who lived with their mothers in a complicated love/hate relationship were attracted to me like iron to a magnet. I dated them for a little while because it seemed the “normal” thing to do. It wasn’t long and I ended up really disliking them and myself for perpetuating the illusion that we were or could ever be a couple.
The first time I talked with my husband, I had just gotten home from a date with a clown. Not a jokester but a genuine clown. Clowns have always frightened me. This clown was no exception. He made me balloon animals and talked about his two clown persona’s: Buffy and Biff. He preferred Buffy and spoke of her at length. He lost himself completely when he talked about the clothes Buffy wears and the makeup and high heels. Continue reading