Graceful defines



characterized by elegance or beauty of form, manner, movement, or speech; elegant: a graceful dancer; agraceful reply.
Tuesday.  I want to be full of grace.  I want an elegance of the soul.  I want something to protect me from all that is not elegant or graceful.
Instead of falling from grace, I want to fall into grace.  Headlong, helplessly, tumbling into the elegance of soul that I desperately seek.  Life has brought me to the edge.  Grace opens up below me.
The recent reading of A Complaint-Free World has turned my world upside down.  I see my complaining for what it is and have discovered that I’m a bit lost without it.   Not that I haven’t fallen and indulged in complaint but it’s not the same.  I know there is something better.
As I do my best to fall into grace, I see it as gift: pure and simple.  I don’t want to live without it.

Carrying a Woeful Grace

Tuesday, I wanted to write about grace.  The days soon ran together with only a litany of unwritten words circling around my mind like dirty water around a drain.  It’s bath day and the youngest of nine has just taken the plunge in the tepid murky mess. Tired wet words are splashing on the floor.  A detached curiosity drapes itself around my neck as I watch.  I can’t turn away.

Yesterday, I wandered through the downtown library as we killed a few minutes between appointments.  So many books.  My heart beat faster with desire.   Ah, the words, the millions and millions of words that swarm around me and seep into my veins.  Words are like heroin in my blood.  Without them I don’t feel normal but with them, I feel still feel lost.  It’s as if the world knows a secret and it’s not telling me.  My mind feels sweet and foggy.

Maybe it takes more to get high these days.  My mind has gotten use to the noise.  The words feel different then they once did.

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No Complaining

It’s Wednesday.  Woe day and Carol finds time to write.  Some how I don’t think it’s a coincidence.  Wednesday and woe are such a natural pairing in my brain.  How I want to change that channel.  It isn’t easy.

To this end, I picked up yet another book at the library.  This one is called,  A Complaint Free World: Take the 21-Day Challenge by Will Bowen.  The book came home with me on Saturday.  I’ve read up to page 12.  Despite how little I’ve read, I’ve been captivated by the main action idea that the book proposes.  It is this:  Wear a bracelet, watch, or rubber band on your wrist or put a coin or doodad in a pocket.  Every time you catch yourself complaining, gossiping or criticizing out loud, you switch the item to the other wrist or pocket.

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Working for Peace

This morning as I caught up on some of my internet reading, I came across the following quote by Thomas Merton.

All the good that you will do will come not from you but from the fact that you have allowed yourself, in the obedience of faith, to be used by God’s love. Think of this more and gradually you will be free from the need to prove yourself, and you can be open to the power that will work through you without your knowing it.

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Saturday dawns with me thinking about work especially my last week at my day job.  Stress seemed to be contagious.  There was a whole lot of grumpy panic running wild.  There was also a lot of “the-farmer-kicks-the-cow, the cow-kicks-the-cat, the cat-kicks-the-mouse, the mouse-jumps-off-the-barn-roof” going on.  A lot of the people filling my week were not filled with happy.  It was robbing me of a lot.  My work felt futile, meaningless, painful.  If ever a week needed love; last week was it.

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I am the person behind the words printed here. I write because my heart will not allow me the option of NOT writing. It has taken me half a life time to discover this basic truth, but now that I have, writing is as natural as breathing. This is where my breath takes the form of words.


I am reading

The Miracle Morning: The Not-So-Obvious Secret Guaranteed to Transform Your Life (Before 8AM)
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